February 14, 2018

Cry-eye bay-bee Cry-eye bay-bee…

February 14, 2018

Cry-eye bay-bee Cry-eye bay-bee…

“Don’t cry out loud,” urges songstress Melissa Manchester, who famously adds, “keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings.” To which we say, pish posh! Should you find yourself on the verge of salty tears, don’t worry. There are many places in the city to sit and let out a good, long, healthy cry.

We selected some places that are better for warm weather and a few options for winter’s chill. While there are definitely many more spots to sob in the city, we chose ten of our favorites boo-hoo hubs. Enjoy. And let it all out.

Do you have a favorite place we didn’t include? Let us know. We won’t judge.

1 Ocean Beach

For those sunny days that won’t shake the blues, heading out to Ocean Beach during sun fall will provide a Cinemascope-esque backdrop for a good sob. The sloshing waves should help muffle your gentle sobs. A nice walk along the beach after weeping will help dry your tears. Bring a blanket and some tissue. It can get cold out there. So very cold.

2 In front of “The Russian Bride’s Attire” at the Legion of Honor

So pretty and touching it hurts, Konstantin Makovsky’s “The Russian Bride’s Attire” (1887) shows a young girl as she prepares for her wedding day. No one featured in the painting, save for the male figures, are happy. A harrowing and striking piece that’s also an ideal backdrop for bringing on any marital water works.

3 The pews at Grace Cathedral

This gorgeous church in the heart of Nob Hill is not only a glorious place to connect with one’s higher power, but also a choice spot to sit in silence for a stress-releasing cry. So haunting. So beautiful.

Portions of the AIDS Quilt hanging at Grace

A post shared by @ joegarity on

4 Presidio Pet Cemetery

A place to remember your very first best friend, that furry little pal whose only goal in life was to make you happy.

5 Crying at the back of a bus

You can hop on a bus at the temporary Transbay terminal or simply get on any bus (not during rush hour) at any stop, head to the back, look out the window like you’re in a ballad music video, and get those tear ducts flowing.

6 Embarcadero Center walkways

The walkways above the main corridor at the Embarcadero Center have plenty of tables and chairs, all of which can be used to let it all out. Rarely busy or populated on this level, the traffic noise bellow will help drown out your inconsolable heaving.

7 The end of Pier 14

The long walk down Pier 14 will give you enough time to work up the emotions to bawl once you arrive at the end. Better for a good cry on the weekdays rather than weekends; fewer tourists to ruin the melancholia. What’s more, the sweeping views of the Bay Bridge and expansive bay below your feet will make you feel like a grain of sand lost in this big, complex beach we call life.

8 Neiman Marcus dressing room

Preferably while wearing a floor-length mink coat, mascara running down your cheeks, looking into the mirror and wondering why all of this money hasn’t bought true happiness.

9 Lover’s Lane

For masochists who really want to feel uncomfortable in their lovelorn pain, we recommend heading out to Lovers Lane in the Presidio. All of those cute couples walking by (hand-in-hand, of course) will have you looking right into the abyss of loneliness. Bonus points if you do it all while listening to the “Everybody Hurts” radio station on Spotify.

10 The bottom of the Lyon Street Steps

“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in,” moped the brooding emo teen from the Academy Award-winning “American Beauty.” One could easily describe the Lyon Street Steps in such an overwrought manner for they are, in a word, stunning. And at the very bottom of these steps, you can park it and have a good solid cry on one of the benches. If the unbridled beauty doesn’t get your eyes leaking, then the nearby multi-million-dollar homes, which you will never be able to afford, will.